All Definitions
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Bedtime
A 7-hour negotiation resulting in a 20-minute nap — by you, not the kid.
bedtimetoddlerchaos
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Snack
A meal that must happen immediately after eating.
foodtoddlerlogic
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Sharing
The act of letting another child see your toy before screaming.
toddlersocialchaos
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Quiet Time
A government conspiracy. Has never occurred in nature.
mythchaoswishful-thinking
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Toddler Logic
If Mom has food → it's mine. If I have food → still mine.
toddlerlogicphilosophy
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Car Seat Physics
The science of limbs tripling in size at buckle time.
toddlerphysicssurvival
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One More Story
A bedtime promise legally binding until sunrise.
bedtimenegotiationlies
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Art Project
A colorful experiment testing the limits of washable paint.
craftschaosregret
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Potty Training
Begging a tiny monarch to pee while they whisper 'no.'
toddlertrainingsurvival
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Screen Time
A sacred bond between a parent and silence.
technologysurvivalguilt
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