Privacy Policy

Last Updated: November 2025

The Short Version

We don't collect your data because we can barely manage our own lives. This site is a static parody website with no user accounts, no tracking, and no database of your embarrassing parenting moments.

What We Collect

Basically nothing. We use standard web server logs (like every website on earth), but we're not analyzing them or selling them to shadowy corporations. We have neither the time nor the energy.

Cookies

We may use cookies to remember your dark mode preference. That's it. We're not tracking you across the internet. We can't even track where we left our keys.

Third-Party Services

We use Amazon affiliate links. When you click those links, Amazon may track your visit according to their own privacy policy. We have no control over this, and honestly, we're just trying to afford more coffee.

Changes to This Policy

If we change this policy, we'll update this page. Realistically, we probably won't change it because we're too busy explaining why bedtime is happening now.

Questions?

If you have privacy questions, you're taking this parody site way too seriously. But we appreciate your diligence.