Study Finds 87% of Parenting Is Just Asking 'Why Is It Wet?'

BOSTON — In a landmark study published this week in the *Journal of Exhausted Parents*, researchers at MIT confirmed that 87% of modern parenting consists of asking 'Why is it wet?' while staring at unidentified liquid.

The study, which tracked 500 parents over 6 months, found that the average parent asks this question 47 times per day, with spikes occurring near bedtime and immediately after claiming 'the house is finally clean.'

'We were shocked by the consistency,' said lead researcher Dr. Sarah Chen, mother of three. 'It doesn't matter the age, location, or socioeconomic status — every parent is just constantly investigating moisture.'

The study identified the top 5 wet mysteries:

1. Kitchen floor (origin unknown) 2. Child's shirt (definitely not water) 3. Couch cushion (don't ask) 4. Bathroom wall (how?) 5. Parent's bed (why)

Dr. Chen noted that in 94% of cases, parents never discover the source of the wetness and simply 'hope it dries before someone important visits.'

The remaining 13% of parenting, the study found, consists of asking 'Where are your shoes?' and 'Did you wash your hands?' — questions children have never answered honestly.

Researchers plan to conduct a follow-up study investigating why everything is sticky.