Cereal for Dinner Now Considered Gourmet Meal

CHICAGO — In a stunning reversal, the American Academy of Nutrition has officially recognized 'cereal for dinner' as an acceptable meal, joining other parent survival foods like 'chicken nuggets again' and 'whatever's in the fridge.'

'We fought this for years,' said Dr. Patricia Lee, leading nutritionist and mother of twins. 'But after reviewing the data, we realized cereal for dinner provides the same nutritional value as most dinners parents actually make on weeknights.'

The study analyzed 1,000 families and found that cereal for dinner:

• Contains milk (calcium) • Sometimes has fruit (if you dump berries on top) • Is fortified with vitamins (probably) • Doesn't require dishes beyond a bowl and spoon • Causes zero sibling fights over whose piece is bigger

'The real breakthrough was realizing that cereal for dinner prevents meltdowns,' Dr. Lee explained. 'A child who accepts cereal immediately is happier than a child forced to eat the balanced meal you spent 45 minutes making that they'll refuse to touch.'

Parents interviewed for the study reported that cereal nights are 'the only nights anyone sleeps.'

The academy also approved:

• Toast as a complete meal • Snack plates as dinner • Breakfast for dinner (but you already knew that) • Giving up entirely and ordering pizza

'We're not saying it's ideal,' Dr. Lee clarified. 'We're saying it's Wednesday night and you're out of energy. The kids are alive. That counts.'